Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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