The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
