I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
