Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
