puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
