i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
