Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
