The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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