So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
