i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
