Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
