Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
