nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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