you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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