dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize