Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
