I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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