Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
