apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
