Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
