In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
