It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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