just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
