Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
