Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
