and she was petting her beer can
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
