My room smells like vodka and shame
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize