There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
