So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
sex in a hospital.. check
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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