He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm passing your future prison.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
