It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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