yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
