I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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