So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
