I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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