your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
