the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
