ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
