You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
