Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize