Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
