Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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