i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
