i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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