At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
