well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
