Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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