butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
