recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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