Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize