Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
