I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
