She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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