And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
