haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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