Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
