Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
