Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
