It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Randomize
