party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
