Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
