PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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