he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
